What could be more exciting than someone's life's first date? I headed off with Aman for my first date. He took me straight to his private movie hall with few of his friends right at his house. I was surprised why he has friends over on our date? Why couldn't he just go to a normal public movie hall? What a show-off! I was thinking of all those weird things in my head. This was not giving me the feeling of being on a real date. Aman was all busy with his friends and making caramel popcorn in his popcorn machine. Ok, he was rich but who was he showing off his wealth? My dad wasn't any poor either? I was feeling so stupid on that freak show that I wanted that date to end asap. Just then Aman offered to go to his terrace and do some stargazing.
Now he was talking my language. I said yes let's do it! This time he asked the boys to stay away from us. He took me to a room with a huge glass terrace. He pointed to a fluffy rug and we both lay down on it. I was watching the beautiful stars blinking in the sky as if trying to pass on some message from far off universe. I was lost in watching the stars when I suddenly realized Aman had almost leaned over me.
He was so close I could clearly feel his breath on my shoulder. I was super uncomfortable and I was wondering what on earth made him lean over me. I mumbled to Aman "this is our first"...before I could finish Aman leave over me and tried to kiss me. I pushed him away and tried to run. My hands and feet were trembling but I ran till I got out of his house.
I was running on the empty road for some time when I heard the footsteps of people running after me. I ran harder and hid on an open porch of a nearby house. Panting and sobbing and the house owner woke up right away hearing me sob.
I ran from the house again before anyone can get hold of me but I bumped into Aman right when I got out of the porch. Aman got hold of me but I was trying to push him away. He held my hand tight and pulled me close. Before I could say anything he said "I am sorry, I am sorry, I know this was our first date and it's too soon but I got lost in your beautiful eyes and felt like kissing you. But you don't need to run I promise I won't do anything that you are not comfortable with at this moment". I look at his eyes and he gently wiped my tears. His facial expressions were convincing so I trusted him but asked him to send me home right away.
Aman got me a pizza and pulled his car over to drive me home. I sat beside him shamelessly munching on the pizza not looking at him at all. My head felt like an active volcano containing boiling magma or anger whatever you name it. The statement that "love is beautiful and romantic partner can give me happiness were flashing inside my head". Tears were rolling down my face and I was asking questions to myself. Is this what love feels like? can this ever heal the void in my heart? Why did mother ask me to date him? Should I tell her that Aman tried to kiss me right on our first date? That too without asking me if he could do it? My vision was constantly getting blurry as I cried over and over. Aman took my hand and apologized again, wiped my tears. He then asked me what can he do to make me feel better. I said on his face don't meet me ever again. He hung his face in agreement and said "ok I will not meet you until you feel you can trust me". He begged me not to inform our parents about what happened and promised me he will not bother me anymore.
I was relieved after he dropped me. I wanted to run and hug my mom pour my heart out, but as usual, my parents were nowhere to be found. I went to my room shoved my face in the pillow and sobbed until I slept off. In the morning I was woken up by someone's warm touch on my forehead. I so wanted it to be a mom but when I opened my eyes I was greeted by Moti Amma sitting by my side. Soon as she saw me open my eyes she said: "oh thank god finally you opened your eyes. I was so tensed. Your parents are in London and I was thinking, what could I have done if your condition worsens". I mumbled, "Moti Amma what happened to me?". Moti Amma said I was shivering and mumbling meaningless things all night because of the high fever. It took a couple of days for me to recover. Moti Amma's care and love worked like magic. I started feeling good in a short while. I was also glad that Aman kept his promise. No messages, no calls, no visits from him to annoy me. I was happy and thought it was all over now I will focus on my studies. But little did I know it was just the calm before a devastating storm.
That following weekend mom and dad returned from London I was overjoyed to see them home finally. I was surprised to see a huge pile of shopping bags all with my name.
All fancy clothes make-up product you name it and it was all there in those bags. I asked mom what going on? She smiled and said, "look at you my darling daughter never knew my little daughter would grow up so fast!". I had no idea why mom was being so lovy dovy mushy mushy all of a sudden. But all of this sounded very scary to me. I was about to confront mom but right then, dad came and put a soft Resham dupatta on my head and cried in joy " oh my god my little guriya looks so pretty".
That was the last straw and I snapped at mom at dad "what on earth is going on here and what is this bride's dupatta doing on my head dad? Who the heck is getting married?". Mom looked at me and said, "Kira beta we are so happy and you are throwing anger tantrums on us. I understand you have complaints about us but as parents don't we have the right to be happy when my daughter is happy?". I was livid, I shouted at them at the top of my voice and asked "What are you happy for what do you think I am supposed to be happy for?". Mom almost cried and said, "look at our daughter Bhupati did we raise our daughter to speak to us like this when she grows up". Mom's tears, dad's anger was nothing, in comparison to the fear growing in my chest into a huge lump of pain that wanted to burst into tears. I was feeling so ditched by the way my parents were behaving and on the other hand. I am terrified and was anticipating that my parents have planned my marriage without asking me. I don't even know who the guy was.
The whole family drama came crashing when mom finally broke her silence and said " Kira why are you so angry? Didn't Aman tell you that we had a talk with him and he agreed to marry you? Such an amazing boy he is. Come take a look he has sent a special 10-carat cushion cut diamond ring as a token of love. My beautiful daughter, you will be so happy with him. We can only imagine". My heart broke into millions of pieces, I thought I could trust Aman but that whole thing was a lie. I felt that there was no human being in this world that was worthy of my trust. I could hardly breathe because of the pain growing in my throat from suppressing tears for a long time. I needed to be alone, I needed to cry, my face was turning pale I ran to my room before anyone could figure out what was going on with me.
I slam shut the door and Moti Amma came running "Kira beta what's the wrong beta, say it to amma I am here to listen". My mom and dad followed Moti Amma. I could hear them talking about side my room. My mom said, "Moti I think she just felt shy when we talked about her marriage, don't worry she will be fine". Moti Amma protested softly saying "baby doesn't look like she was happy, please di can you ask her even if she finds this guy good enough to get married?". My mom protested "Moti stay at your limit I know how my daughter can react. She would be better when she would get married to Aman". I was surprised how mom was far away from the truth and Moti Amma who was not even my blood could feel my pain. This broke me even more and I sobbed all night feeling like a lost child inside the tunnel of eternal darkness where no one could see me, feel me or understand me anymore..
To be continued...